My life, my love, my world

One Month

2010-09-26T16:56:00.002-06:00

It's been a month since mom has was found in her apartment. It all feels so unreal to me. I try not to think about it too much but I can't help it when something reminds me of her. Everytime I hear an Eminem song I have to fight back tears. Everytime Max says bubbles.. I don't think I'll ever be able to go to Hunan Village or the Sugarhouse dollar theatre again. Even driving by those places makes me cry or come very close to it. You never really know how much it hurts until you go through it you know?

The thing I can't stop thinking about is how I didn't get to talk to her much the last few weeks before she died. Her phone was turned off because she was having a hard time with bills. I wish I would've offered to keep the phone on for her and pay that bill so we would have easy communication all the time. Hell, even adding her on my cell phone plan would've only cost $10 extra a month.

I hate that I didn't get much time with her. I'm 23 years old and even if I had those 23 years with her, it wouldn't have been enough. I am so sad that the majority of my memories of her are from conversations we had over the phone. Or old memories when she lived in Tooele for a few years. I feel like I should've done more to keep in touch with her. I know she was moving out here this last time she said she was. I should've done more to help her get here. I wish she would've been able to come home finally.

It scares me really. My mom died at 46 years old. Her mom died in her late 30's or early 40's (I'm not sure exactly when, if mom were alive I'd ask her). I don't want to leave Max that early. I want to grow old with my husband and have grandchildren and great grandchildren to spoil. Just like mom wanted. She never thought she was a great mom but I could tell she did all she could to be a superb grandmother to Max. I think she was a great mom. I could always open up to her and tell her everything. I also think she was a great grandma to Max too. I hate that he won't remember her.

I miss my mom so much. I wish she could be here when my next child is born. And the next after that. I wish she could be here for Max's first day of kindergarten. His graduation day. His first day away from home when I'm going to need her so much.

My mom was a great person. I don't know how I'll ever get over her death.

Swine flu day 2.5

2009-10-18T23:50:00.001-06:00

I hate this part of being a mom. The waiting, the watching, for any of the signs the doctor says constitutes a trip to the er. As I listen to his breathing it takes all my efforts to fight the urge to run him to the emergency room. He's breathing fast... no deep... not fast really but it sounds weezy... but it could be from his stuffy nose. The noise is definately from his nose. Like when Devin snores. It just sounds horrible on my baby :(

swine flu

2009-10-17T20:34:00.001-06:00

There are very few things that I would not wish on my enemy and swine flu is definately one of them. I feel like I may just kill over any second. My whole body aches. I consistantly have a tempature over 102 if I don't regularly take advil and tylenol. My chest aches, especially when I cough this horrendous cough.
I worry that Max will get it. Or Jaxon or Cristyle or my grandpa. It is the worse sickness in the world.

New pics

2009-06-15T07:42:00.004-06:00

Max loves his new sippy cup! He's a pro. Just caught on real easy. We put AJ in it for him.

And my favorite picture of all! -

I have an addiction

2009-06-15T07:18:00.004-06:00

Yes. It's true. I have an addiction and I can't give it up. I love it too much to give it up. I know I'm addicted... but is it really that bad to have an addiction? Only if it affects your day to day living... which I guess it kinda seems to do... I know it's an addiction because I have a huge stash of them in my car, in my room, even in my desk at work! I have so many freaking coupons that I can't seem to keep track of them all! I love saving money, which in turn causes me to shop more so I can use all of them. If I see a good deal, I just have to take it! Where's the logic in that? Addictions can make you do crazy things!

My weekend

2009-06-08T09:52:00.004-06:00

Friday night-
Like I said in the previous post, my family from Colorado came out to visit. So I talked with them a bit and we watched that rugby movie. The movie was not too bad. Cristyle loves rugby so she enjoyed the dumb rugby jokes haha.

Saturday-
My whole family went to Lagoon for Native American day there. Even though only like 1/4 of us have Native American blood.... The older cousins all walked around the park together. Cristyle, Me, Hudson, Cherstan, Tyson, Travis, Jordan, Skyler, Melodi, Alexis, Quinton (who's little but we let him come anyway). I remember when only Cris, Me, Hudson, Cher, and Andrew would walk around together since we were the oldest and could ride all the rides. But it's still pretty fun now that a whole lot of us can ride all the rides and like to.

Cristyle,Cherstan, Melodi, Alexis, Quin, and I all road Rattle Snake Rapids 10 times in a row. Needless to say, we were frozen. It wasn't too hot of a day Saturday and we didn't start the challenge until like later in the afternoon. We were soaked. By about the 7th time, the water became warm to us. It was really weird... I'm pretty sure that was when the hypothermia set in :P jk.

The stupid Merry Go Round attacked me. Well... actually... I just forgot how to get off a horse without killing myself... I ended up with a pretty brutal bruise though! It's awesome.

Damn Merry Go Round...

Lastly, Saturday Devin moved home. We are now staying in Herriman. I had tried for months to find a job down there so Max and I could join Devin in Ephraim, but it hasn't happened and I am sick of living without the man I married. We got married so we wouldn't ever have to live apart. He moved there because he was going to attend Snow College for his Associates and also his CDL through there program. But seeing how I make more up here in Salt Lake than we would with the both of us working in Ephraim, we decided to have Devin move back home. Besides, even if I was able to find a job there, we'd have a hard time working a way out to watch Max, especially if we were both working the same hours. But, Devin is still able to work on his CDL so that is good. After he gets that and works awhile, we can pay off debt and past due bills and then I will quit my job. But until then, I'm fine with working and being together as a family again. I was so sad that Devin was missing out on Max's life. Now he'll get to make up that time by watching him every single day! Too bad we already signed the apartment contract a few months ago... ugh.

Sunday-
I was pretty grumpy and tired most the day on Sunday. Lagoon exhausted me! Stupid sun burned my face. My inlaws were teasing me because I told them I don't burn and wouldn't need sunscreen... They are calling me Red or Lobster face. Rude, I know. Haha, jk. I just tell them that I'm just embarrassed about something and am blushing... not sun burnt!

Devin and I also played Mario Party 8 all afternoon while Max played on the floor and also took a nap. That is a long freaking game... it was fun for the first 3 hours but the last hour and a half seemed to last 20 hours. But we drank my bud light that cristyle bought me from out of state (which is better than lame ass Utah beer) and had a good time.

I washed the crib bumper and matching sheets and blanket for Max's crib. It was a big step for me. We put him to bed in his own bed and he did so well! He went down at like 10 and woke up at 2:30 (but I think only because the Devin had fallin asleep and left the tv on) and then woke up at 5:30 when my alarm went off. I just pulled him into bed with me then though. I held him in my arms as I snoozed and kept hitting my alarm. I got him back to sleep real easily and finally dragged myself up to get ready for work at about 6:10. I tip toed around so he'd stay asleep but he woke up anyway before I left. His daddy was getting him back to sleep when I left and hopefully he was able to get a few more Zzz's.

Now it's Monday... and I'm back to work. There is drama yet again so I really don't want to be here. But honestly, there is more important things going on with my life that I have to worry about, so I shouldn't get wrapped into this this stupid stuff here. I just have to remember that I have the perfect husband and the perfect baby, and somehow we will make it through this tough time. Besides, I have great real friends and an incredible family.

Max and Spencer

2009-06-08T09:10:00.004-06:00

I forgot to add to the previous post that Max also now clicks his tongue. It has got to be one of the cutest things ever. I wish I could get it on video! Also, he can hold his own bottle :) Such a smart baby!

My little cousin Spencer came to visit, along with his family, this weekend. He is 11 days younger than Max! I hope they are good friends when they are older, like my cousin Cherstan and I. Close cousins are fun :)

Sorry for the crappy quality of these pics! But it was so cute how Max kept trying to grab Spencer's hand. These boys are quite the studs! Spencer kept wiggling so the pic is a bit blurry from that too. He was so excited.. Max on the other hand hadn't met all of Spencer's brothers and sisters so he was calmly looking around at everyone crowded over him.

Maximus Updates!

2009-06-05T13:12:00.002-06:00

My little baby boy is getting so big! He's 4 months and 2 weeks old now, 12 lbs 12 oz 25 inches long. He's tall and skinny. It worries me and I hope he's eating enough but everyone always says he knows how much he wants to eat and how often so not to worry... but it's hard not to.

Also, he's got a tooth! It started coming in last Wednesday, May 27th 2009. It's been a pain in the ass though. I hate that it hurts him but it's so exciting! I love these new little changes.

Max also rolled over for the first time yesterday morning at 3:30 am. It was so exciting! Although now I'm freaking out that he's going to roll off my bed. Yes, I let him sleep in bed with me. Don't judge me. But last night, I kept a hold of his little hand so I knew he wasn't moving anywhere. I need to start letting him sleep in his own bed, especially now that he's rolling.... but I have attachment issues I guess :) Maybe the next baby I'll let sleep in his own crib.. maybe.

Oh and he can also eat very well with a spoon. He's had oatmeal, rice, and apple juice. It was great the reaction Devin and I got when he first tasted the AJ. SO SO cute. He liked flinched in disgust. I think it was sour to him... But now he likes it! I have to learn to post videos and I'll show you sometime. :)

I wanted to post some pictures but my phone died and I don't have my memory card right this moment.... Although I did come across some old pics that I might post later. But I must get back to work now!

Reality

2009-06-02T10:18:00.007-06:00

"However rare true love may be, it is less so than true friendship."
-- La Rochefoucauld

I have and have had many friend's in my life. Some have moved away and others I've just lost contact with. There are also people I thought were my friends, but find out years later they were only using me and were never really true friends. Those are people I don't care that are no longer in my life. But there is one friend that I miss truly more than I've ever missed a friend in my life. A dear friend that I long to talk to like we used to such a short time ago. The friend I could laugh and do absolutely nothing with, but still have such a wonderful time. It's true, I have many many friends that describe the above that I have not lost, and will always hold tightly to. But this friend I am meaning is one that I will never be able to be friends with again. She was the love of my brother's life. But through tough times, there relationship was not able to with hold. This makes me so sad every time I think about it. It's one of those things I push to the back of my mind every time it comes up. These two honestly were meant for each other. They just were pushed into something more by her family who should never had been meddling in the first place. Maybe in a few years, when they've both had time to grow up a bit....

"Thy friendship oft has made my heart to ache: do be my enemy for friendships sake." -William Blake

I had to end my friendship with this beautiful young lady nearly a year ago. I miss her more than anyone can ever know. The only way I could hide/smother the pain was to push her away. I have always regretted the text that I sent to her in my anger and sadness. I have a temper I know... but honestly, it was the only way to smother the pain I was feeling. I cannot tell you how much sadness I have in my heart for this whole situation. I know how much I miss this sweet girl and it makes me that much more sad for how my brother must feel. This is a part of my life I wish to be able to black out completely.. but that will never be. I am fighting back the same tears I always fight back when I think back to all this. I wish I could take away the pain for all those involved. But I know I can't.

I sent her a message a couple months ago asking for her forgiveness and friendship. But this morning I got her response. She let me know that she misses me too and she doesn't hate me. But she says that I was right.. we can't be friends because of the whole situation and that it would be too hard. This is the reality. This reality breaks my heart.

Hold on to your friends. Keep them close. To all those friends I still have - I love you and thank you for all that you do.

"A best friend is like a four leaf clover, hard to find and lucky to have. "
~ Anonymous

My handsome boy again :)

2009-05-06T11:18:00.008-06:00

Max recently discovered his hands. He is very intrigued. He also loves to look at toys now too. I need to buy one of those little things that goes over the top of him while he's laying down on his blankey.

Max also LOVES the camera. I can get him to smile so easily everytime I bring it out now. Even when I hold up my phone he smiles! He also loves the bumbo that Jackie let us borrow. If we could afford it, we'd totally buy one for him and all the future babies we're going to have!

Max's baby blessing outfit

2009-04-15T15:20:00.007-06:00

Such a stud!

I love this picture! He looks so funny :)

Easter weekend

2009-04-13T08:52:00.006-06:00

This weekend was really great. Max and I drove down to Ephraim again to see Devin, which took longer than normal because I15 southbound was closed so we had to take Redwood down thru Saratoga Springs and Elberta to Hwy 6... but once we FINALLY got there we were glad. That night we went and got sandwiches for dinner (me at Gandolfo's and Devin at Subway). We watched a movie and just relaxed together that night, it was really nice.

The next morning Devin went to work and Max and I decided to go to the store and buy eggs and a toy, and then come home and make cookies. On our way there, I looked to the spot in the car where I had put my rings the night before when I'd taken them off because my fingers were swelling. One ring was there, but my diamond ring and wedding band were missing! I had put them in the little cubby hole thing in the door (stupid me) and I was afraid it had fallen out somehow and lost forever. I looked all over Maverick's parking lot, as well as Gandolfo's and Subways. I also looked in the driveway and in my car. I couldn't find it at all. I was in tears so max and I just went back inside and called devin. He said when he got off he would come help look for it but to calm down in the meantime. I couldn't relax, I felt sick to my stomach. I couldn't believe that I'd been so stupid and careless. I was so sad. So Max and I took a nap until daddy got home.

Once Devin finally got off work, he was able to find it deep in the crack of the seat where the back meets the butt of the seat. I was so glad! After that we went to the store and got some groceries and the toy that Max and I initially wanted to go to walmart for. After that we watched P.S. I Love You and made hard boiled eggs. Max was in a good mood so we of course had to play with him for hours too.

The next day, Morgan and Zac (two of Devin's best friends) came down to visit Devin and I made all of us french toast for breakfast while we watched Herbie. We then went to show them the apartment we'll be staying in since the one he's in now is a crap hole. But the apartment manager wasn't there so they just saw the outside of the apartment. After that they went on their way home and we decided to go on a little drive in the canyon. We got pretty far up but soon there was snow on the ground and I told devin we better turn back so we don't get stuck. But of course the man didn't listen and thought we could make it up a ways more... And guess what happend? THIS-

Needless to say, I said "I told you so". We ended up having to call Morgan and Zac to have them come get us out of the snow. Haha, it was still pretty fun. After that delimma we went home and made mexican lasagna which turned out pretty tasty, as well as our devilled eggs. But then Max and I had to make our journey back to my grandparents house. I hate driving... ugh. But you do what you gotta do right? In the end it'll all pay off. Devin will have his CDL and AS and a career. It sucks only seeing Devin on the weekend. And it's hard getting up with Max alone at night and then getting up for work at 530. It's hard, but it'll be worth it. :)

Here are some more pictures from the weekend

"Not the carseat again mom!" By the way, we named the cow Howie.

Max's favorite toy and some pics

2009-04-10T11:58:00.011-06:00

I wanted to post this picture because it is so adorable! Max loves gnawing on this little blankey cow/giraffe thing. Haha, a coworker gave it to me when I was in my 7 month because she thought it was so cute and couldn't not buy it.

Here's some other pictures (not in any order)-

Something to think about.

2009-04-10T11:08:00.002-06:00

"For all you moms, husbands of moms, or know a mom.

When my daughter was two weeks old, I was standing at the top of some steps and, for a minute, I held her tighter because I was truly afraid that the wind would blow her out of my arms. It sounds crazy now, but the urge to protect your child is hardwired and sometimes irrational. Indeed, for the first few years of their lives, it seems like our main occupation is to keep them from certain death. You scoop tiny chokeable bits of things out of their mouths; you grab them by the pants just before they fall off a chair, the stairs, the top of the slide; you stop them from prying old gum off the sidewalk.

And of course sometimes kids do fall, and there you are in the emergency room, freighted with guilt or panic or both. Most of the time, they are fine, and you get used to a certain level of parental worry. But there's another opposite and almost equally terrifying thought that we don't talk about as much: what if something happened to us before our kids were old enough to take care of themselves?

We're usually so preoccupied with our children's well-being that our own safety is an afterthought. But the deaths of two notable mothers over the past week, both with young children, have made those thoughts hard to avoid. Last Wednesday, actress Natasha Richardson died in New York from a brain injury after a skiing accident. She and her husband, actor Liam Neeson, had two sons—just 12 and 13 years old. Then, over the weekend, 27-year-old British reality-TV star, Jade Goody, succumbed after a long and public struggle with cervical cancer. She left behind two little boys, ages 4 and 5.

Neither woman was superstar famous, but the stories of their deaths were chilling to the mothers I know. Some of us could barely remember a movie we'd seen Richardson in, we just knew that she was gracious and well loved and just 45 years old. Her passing from something as capricious and random as a minor fall on the gentlest of ski slopes was so jarring that we couldn't stop talking about the how and the why. We hoped that an autopsy would show that something else, a pre-existing condition maybe, caused her death. But no. These things happen. It could have been any of us.

And when we learned that she waved away an initial offer of medical care after her fall, we understood. I'm sure that if one of Richardson's children had bumped his head she would gone to an emergency room immediately, and stayed for as long as it took to be absolutely sure that the boy was fine. But how many parents, if we'd taken a small tumble, would have looked at the day's plans and said, "No, I don't want to ruin everyone's vacation only to spend hours at the hospital over a minor bump. We don't have time. I'll be fine."

We find it easy to postpone our own doctor's appointments, but not the ones for the kids. We helmet them, but not ourselves. This is why airlines still have to remind parents to put their own oxygen masks on before they take care of the kids.
The passing of Britain's Goody inspired another trail of questions for parents. She was known as a kind of over-the-top "wrong side of the tracks Lady Diana," and had become famous after a controversial stint on the reality show "Big Brother." When she learned that she had an aggressive form of cervical cancer, this young woman who had not much else to offer, decided to sell the rights to televise her last days so that her two sons would be provided for.

Her decision caused an uproar in England. But it made me think twice about what I'd do for my two daughters if I knew I wasn't going to be around. So many of us haven't properly sorted out a living will, or even a regular will with provisions for guardianship should our kids be left without either parent. And as for less concrete types of preparation, I'm not sure what I'd do if I were given the terrible luxury of time to prepare my two daughters for my own passing. Goody told her sons that they could look to the sky and find her there, a star to watch over them. Hearing that, it was impossible not to think about what I'd say to my girls. It's like the unexplainable urge to put your finger right into the blue center of a candle flame. Horrible and irresistible.

But another week of work, school projects and laundry is already upon us; it won't be long before we forget Richardson and Goody. That's perhaps one blessing of having young children. The struggle to simply keep up with the everyday doesn't leave much time for fretting over hypotheticals. Still, I am going to finally make an appointment for a long overdue checkup. I'll do it for my kids. And I'll be thinking about Richardson's and Goody's children as I do it."
By Susanna Schrobsdorff | Newsweek Web Exclusive

I just got this email and it hit me hard. I've been having problems with my stomach hurting and diarreah constantly since about a week after I had Max. Max is 11 weeks and 1 day old. So I've had this problem for about 10 weeks. I'm scared it something bad but I don't want to deal with more medical bills. We have so SO many as it is. I did see the doctor a week and a half ago and she wants me to bring in a sample (nasty) but I haven't yet... I just don't want it to be a waste. But I guess I'll do it. I'll do it for Max.

The best sound ever

2009-04-10T10:16:00.003-06:00

I've decided the best thing you could ever hear is your baby's laugh. Max has the CUTEST giggle I've ever heard. I absolutely love it. He smiles with his whole face- all big and wide! So cute. I love hearing him laugh, especially when he's laughing with his daddy. I think that is so adorable.

Last night my sister, Cristyle, told me that her and my grandma were bathing Max in the kitchen on the table in the baby tub and he ended up peeing on the table. Haha, so funny. When she told me about it I laughed and Max looked up at me and started laughing too. :) Pretty sure he did it on purpose! Lol.

Max loves playing peek-a-boo. Just cover his face with his bib or blankey and when it's pulled back he first looks concerned but when he sees your face, he lights up in a huge smile! So cute I tell ya!

Updates

2009-04-06T16:17:00.005-06:00

Ok, it's been awhile so this may be a super long blog, but here goes!

Maximus was born Thursday January 22, 2009 at 5:33pm. It took 8 and a half hours of labor but under 10 minutes of pushing. Everything had proceeded normally up until about 5:15 when the nurses came in to get me ready for delivery. Max's little heart rate had dropped dramatically and he was in a lot of stress. I remember seeing the worry in the nurses faces and how they were hurrying about much faster than 10 minutes earlier. Even now, thinking back to it, my stomach is churning.

Maximus was is our little miracle baby. He went thru so much those first few days of life. Not only had his heart rate dropped, but he was born face up, had a bowel movement and fluid in his lungs because of it, and the cord was wrapped around his neck. It was awful. They let me hold him about 10 seconds before taking him away from me to the NICU.

A few hours after his birth, the nurse brought my beautiful baby to me and I held him and just cried and cried. Devin and I were so thankful that he was born in a hospital with such capable nurses and doctors. Sadly though, Max was again taken from us to go back to the NICU because I noticed he seemed to be shivering even though he was wrapped up in his little blanket. They initially brought him back to warm him up, but after taking vitals they reported back to me that his respiratory rate was high and his blood sugar was incredibly low. This was caused by some sort of virus that we later found out after quite a few tests. After a 48 hour course of antibiotics that was started on saturday morning, we were able to take our sweet baby home Monday morning following his birth. I hated not being able to be with him the whole time. The NICU is good about letting you come in whenever you want to see your baby, but he was hooked up to an IV and monitors and they were constantly walking by to check on him. I was so SO happy when we brought him home.

Those first weeks were stressful I tell ya. I never could have imagined how much I'd worry about my baby, especially at night. I'd constantly wake up gasping, and later I realized it was because I would hold my breath so I could hear if my baby was breathing, and then I'd forget to breath. Haha. But really, even though little Maxy is sleeping 6 hours now, I still don't get much sleep. I constantly wake up to check his breathing and make sure he's covered with his blanket still.

2 weeks after Max was born, we were driving up to my work and were rear ended by a full sized pick up truck which totalled my car. It was one of the scariest times of my life. Being slammed forward into my seat belt and hearing my baby scream and cry out, glass shattering everywhere as the back window broke in on Max and I. It was horrible that night, watching him to be sure nothing happened to him from the accident. Luckily, the car seat did it's job and our perfect baby was safe. But as an extra precaution, I now drive a Nissan Murano which is much bigger (and safer) than a Dodge Stratus. Also more expensive, but I want to be sure that Max will always be safe.

Devin lost his job a week after the accident and had been out of a job up until last monday. He had been taking care of Max while I went back to work on March 9th and is so great with him now. Devin can get him to giggle over and over again, just by talking to him or even just smiling at him. It makes me jealous a little bit, but makes me happier more than anything. I love how much Max loves his daddy. And I also am happy that Devin knows that it is hard to stay home and take care of a baby. So now, in the future, when we have more kids, he'll understand and know what I'm going through when I stay home with our kids.

Devin works down in Ephraim now. It's been really hard but we are trying to get things worked out so that he can go to Snow in the summer and continue on until he gets his CDL and associates degree. But man, it sucks. I miss him incredibly. It was hard saying good bye again this weekend and coming back up to go to work. The week of course drags even more. Plus, I am lacking sleep so much that it seems to be killing me. Waking up with a baby at night and then getting up at 5:30 to get myself and him ready to go... no wonder I'm always so late to work. But, I just think of the goal and I am able to do it.

I have wonderful family members and friends that are so great to help out. Cristyle is always willing to help watch Max and I know I can turn to her anytime. My friend Hollie is my regular babysitter now though. I drop him off before I go to work and Cris usually picks him up after she gets off work. It works out great. And then of course there is Jackie who is always willing to help when she can as well. And Jenny. I appreciate them all so much.

There are tons of other things that I should blog about, but have no time to right now. I think I got the major things out of the way though. I will post pics and write more later. I love being a mom, it's the greatest.

Annoyed

2009-01-17T21:18:00.001-07:00

I am INCREDIBLY annoyed with the constant questioning I get every freakin day. "Are you feeling any contractions today?" "Has your water broke yet?" "How are you feeling?" "Are you having Max today?" And what's worse, is when I answer, "No" because I am not, I always get the disappointed, "oh. Dang it."

One of the reasons I couldn't take going into work anymore is because I was getting these questions there too. I know everyone is excited, but I feel like a failure or something because he hasn't come yet. What's worse is that there are a few people that everytime I call them they ask (as soon as they pick up)"Are you on the way to the hospital?" No. And again, a disappointed "Oh. That sucks."

But to me, it doesn't suck. Because for all I know, this will be the only baby I have. This could be the only baby I get to feel moving inside me. I enjoy feeling him kick in the middle of the night after waking up one of the many times I have to use the bathroom. I don't mind being pregnant, but I am just sick of the pressure to have him. I wish everyone would get off my back. He will come when he's meant to or the doctor thinks he should.

I did complain at work about being pregnant, but only because I was so tired coming in every day after not sleeping well at night. It wasn't that I was sick of being pregnant, it was that I was sick of being tired all day. I realized this after I started working half days and actually getting to sleep in a little in the mornings. But every freaking day I'd walk in, someone would joke about me being there another day. Or give me advice on making me go into labor sooner. Which was ok at the beginning.. but I was so done with it by the end of my time there. I know they were just trying to help, and it was probably my fault because I had complained when I was working all day, but I was so done with it.

My doctor is very happy for me because she says I'm doing great. She says that most first time moms aren't dilated or effaced as soon as I was. Says that most first timers go a couple weeks over. As of wednesday, I was at a 4 and was 80% effaced. When I was scheduling the induction date, the nurse was telling me how shocked she was that I am so far dilated and this being my first baby.

But I feel like this isn't good enough for some people... It's not like I have any control over it. And if I did, I don't think I'd make him come before my induction date. I want to see him, but I love feeling him all to myself. But if he doesn't come by Thursday the 22nd, the doctor will be inducing me at 8am.

Late updates

2009-01-07T15:08:00.002-07:00

Last week when I went to the doctor I was 70% effaced and dilated to a 2. Not too much progress so I didn't blog about it. I was a little disappointed to tell you the truth. I hope that at today's appointment I'll have made more progress. I hope!!! I am ready to have this baby... now. I'm 38 weeks along so he's to full term so can safely come NOW. Guess we'll see at 440... in an hour. Sheesh.

I will now be working 1:30 to 5:30 thursday and friday, and probably not at all after that until he's come and I've taken the leave I want. This way I'll be not so tired after work and get to sleep in a little bit. I might try and work next week too if I'm not very dilated today... Oh man, I hope I am.

I hate when a customer calls and they are talking to someone in the background and not really paying attention to you trying to help them, or when they are on another phone and you have to keep repeating "hello, how can I help you?" It's freakin annoying.

Well... wish me luck, I'm off to the doctor's. :D

36 week update

2008-12-23T12:09:00.000-07:00

I went to the doctor yesterday and found out that I am dilated to a 1.5 and 50% effaced. Also, I was right, I am losing my mucous plug (nasty). So it's getting closer! Probably another couple weeks. The doctor thinks he'll come the first week of January but also said that it's a complete guess... so I guess we'll see. I am very excited now though! These last few weeks are gonna drag I think! I know I need to be able to work until January 15th so I can get that last full paycheck in and have enough money saved for me to take 6 weeks off... so I kinda hope he waits til then but than again... I am too excited and want him to come a week or so before that! Next week he'll be 37 weeks which is considered full term so... maybe..

I'm excited for next weeks appointment! I am curious as to how fast I am dilating and effacing. Considering how I was not dilated or effaced at all two weeks prior to yesterdays appointment, the doctor said I made fast progress. :D

Also, this past weekend was our 1 year anniversary! It was great. Friday was our anniversary so we went to dinner at Texas Roadhouse then went home and took it easy that night. Then on Saturday we took our time getting ready in the morning and packed a suitcase for the night and drove up to Logan to the Anniversary Inn. It was great! Beautiful room too. The Lake Powell room is what we stayed in. It had an upstairs where the bed is and flat screen tv on the wall across the balcony! The main floor had the bathroom, and the downstairs had the jacuzzi. It was heaven. We really enjoyed it.

Friday was also my baby shower at work! Which was great as well! I got a crib and mattress from everyone at my work. It was more than I expected and I was completely thrilled. It's a beautiful crib and arrived by UPS yesterday, so we set it up last night! I need to post pictures of it, it's so wonderful. I love my coworkers :) and am very happy to work with them.

Also, finally have the plans worked out for after Max is born. I'm going to take 6 weeks off and then start working part time at my job again. I'll work 30 hours a week so that I can still get benefits, but be home before too late in the day. (I'm taking the early shift with seniority from the coworker I'm not found of.. so shhh don't tell!). I was going to work part time anyway, so the fact that I can work at the job I am now is great to me! Because I'll still have the great work history for loan apps and such, but also be able to stay with Max as much as I can but not struggle financially. OH and cristyle (my sister), will be baby sitting for me during the day. :)

This may be too much info...

2008-12-22T07:26:00.004-07:00

So I'm pretty sure I lost my mucous plug last night. For all of you that don't know what that is- google it, I'm not explaining it. Grosses me out... but it also means it's getting close. I could have him in the next few hours, or up to a few weeks from now. I'll be 36 weeks pregnant tomorrow, so technically I have 4 weeks to go still, but I hear the first baby always comes early... guess we'll see :)

I've included the link that tells about the 36th week of pregnancy, it also tells what a mucous plug is. Check it out..
http://www.babyzone.com/pregnancy/trimesters/week/article/36th-week-pregnancy

I go to the doctor today at 3:45 so I will update tonight after that. Plus I gotta write about my wonderful weekend! It was our anniversary and we had a great time. :D But I'll write about that tonight as well.

34 Week Baby Update and other updates

2008-12-10T20:55:00.003-07:00

Nothing big to report. Didn't gain any weight, blood pressure back down, pee test good, not dilated at all, and my tummy is 2 cm bigger from two weeks ago. But these are all good things so I'm ok with it!

Picked up the bassinet we ordered last night. Got it all set up and it is freakin adorable! Devin and I are way excited to put Max in it in a few more weeks. :)

Work is getting better. Today was a good day there, I wasn't completely swamped for once. Still got stupid questions from sherrie today though... and I did at one point want to slap her across the face for being stupid and a bitch. But other than that, it was a good day. I just get really irritated when she points out others mistakes or blames other people for things when she makes the most mistakes of all and is the one in the fault anyway! I am very grateful for the extra help that came forward when the manager left us high and dry, so for her to be mean to them, that just really makes my blood boil! I know one day that I'm just gonna snap and be the biggest b word to her because I won't be able to take it any longer. Meaner than I have been in the past. She deserves it though.

I'm excited for our anniversary next week :) We've booked a room at the Anniversary Inn in Logan, and I am super excited! It'll be great. Beautiful room too. It's the Lake Powell room. Freakin bad ass.

Next week my cousin Cherstan gets home from china which I am totally excited about! I can't wait to see her :)

Well, I'm off to bed, I be tired :) Even though it's only 9 o clock.

Baby update - 32 weeks

2008-11-26T23:07:00.002-07:00

Regular doctor appointment today. Max is doing well, heartbeat sounds great. My doc says that it's a healthy sign that his heartbeat speeds up after he kicks. He kicked at the heartbeat thing when she put it up to my tummy. My blood pressure has gone up a bit from usual, not really high but not as low are normal. I blame work for that. Weight and pee test good as usual.

8 more weeks... crazy I know. It's gone by so fast! And on friday we will be buying all the rest of the big items we need (crib, bassinet, etc) and then possibly a PS3 and laptop. We'll see what the ads have on sale :)

Oh and my boss quit at work on friday so it's been hell there. No one knew her job except me and andrea... since andrea is in australia for now, I get bombarded with questions for things that I normally didn't even do. Most things though, I am just giving an educated guess or I have to do research to figure it out. It's very stressful which is why I blame work for making my blood pressure go up. I know everyone is hoping I come back to work... especially now that the claims manager (my boss) is gone. I still haven't decided for sure though... I guess if they offer me a significant raise, then I'll consider it more. But with all the overtime devin gets at his job, even though he makes a few bucks less than me, his checks are about the same if not more, so either one of us make enough for one to stay home and work part time. Guess we'll see!

2 Months

2008-11-20T15:13:00.005-07:00

Max is due two months from today. I am full of all sorts of emotions! I am very excited but nervous. I am getting more and more worried about making sure we have everything we need for the little guy. We did get a ton of presents at the baby shower thrown by my inlaws. We have a play area that doubles as a bassinet (the top portion turns into one, as well as a changing table), a hooded towel and baby memory book, a car seat and stroller set (VERY cute set), diaper bag that I bought with a gift card, tons of blankets and crib sheets, and a whole lot of adorable outfits. I still want to buy the bassinet I'm in love with at WalMart though, it's about 50 bucks I think. Also still need a crib and mattress, high chair, and I really want one of those stationary activity center things that convert to walking things as well. We need a second car seat base for our 2nd vehicle and then all the little things like baby nail clippers, brush and comb, etc. And a diaper genie II would be nice but not as necessary.

I'm hoping a lot of these items will be on sale the day after Thanksgiving, but if they aren't we'll have the money we've saved for this sale to buy them when they are on sale in the meantime. I can't wait for next Friday! I just hope I can still have the day off at work because the other main claims girl, Andrea, will be in Australia for a couple months and that would leave only Sherrie and my boss to cover phones all day. :S Oh man, I really hope I don't get hosed out of it. I've planned this day off since like July because I really want to go shopping all day. Guess we'll see!

I wrote a list of things to do this weekend. The first item being Clean out my car (told to do so by Diane!) because it is a bit messy... not stained and dirty, just messy. But it really should be cleaned out before Max gets here so it's at the top of my list! Other to do's include:
Laundry, clean living room, finish and mail out Thank you cards, organize food shelves, cut out fabric and sew together baby quilt, wash baby clothes/blankets, wash out clear drawers for baby stuff to be stored in, organize baby stuff, buy the perfect newborn outfit to bring Max home in, buy another pkg of newborn diapers as well as a travel wipes container, pack diaper bag for trip home from hospital, and give Devin a haircut.

If I'm lucky, I'll do like 2 of those things :) - laundry and clean my car... but I'll shoot for all of them!

Premature Labor - 30 weeks and 2 days

2008-11-18T16:27:00.005-07:00

Last week was pretty eventful, most particularly Thursday. Max decided to rock the boat a little and make me start contracting. Not fun I tell ya!

I was at Devin's great grandfather's funeral when my stomach started hurting a lot. Everyone was giving their talks and it was only about a half an hour into it. I was so uncomfortable on that fold up chair sitting by the grave, trying my hardest not let anyone see how much pain I was in. The graveside service lasted about an hour and 15 mins, so I sat there silently for 45 mins after this pain had arrived. Then of course there was about 15-30 mins of my in laws talking to their relatives while I was still trying not show the pain I was experiencing, hoping that it would go away if I could hang on just a little longer.

When we finally left, I told my father in law that we would need to stop somewhere so I could use the restroom before we went to the luncheon held after the service. After 5 minutes of driving and hitting every bump on that damn road, we stopped at a Smith's. I was hoping maybe the pain would go away after I emptied my bladder, but it didn't. In fact, I felt worse and started to cry. After a few minutes, I took a few deep breaths and composed myself. I didn't know what to do because I knew my in laws were counting on going to the luncheon but I was miserable and would have preferred to have gone straight home.

We arrived at my father in laws uncles house and got a huge glass of water. I drank the whole thing but felt even worse after that! I just wanted so badly to lay in bed and cry. I was determined not to let anyone know how miserable I was though because I would feel bad making them leave on my account. I tried to eat the little food that I had dished up for myself but that as well made me feel even worse. After about 35 mins of sitting at the table, trying to focus on the conversation my in laws were having with their family, I couldn't take it anymore. I excused myself to the bathroom and threw up the bit of food I had choked down.

After I had come out of the bathroom, my mother in law asked if I was ok and I started to cry. I told her I did not feel well and would like to leave. We finally left and when I got home I called my doctor and left a voicemail telling her I was in a lot of pain and it just wasn't going away. After that I took a warm shower which helped a little then tried to take a nap. I slept off and on for the next hour, waiting to hear back from the nurse as to what I needed to do. Devin was unable to get the day off for the funeral so I had been texting him all day about what I was experiencing. Finally I told him that when he got home, we would be going to the hospital because I was still in pain. Eventually the nurse did call back and told me to go to the emergency room and get checked out, but devin still wasn't home and my mother and father in law were not home and I had no form of transportation.

Kiera, Devin's sister, reluctantly gave me a ride to the ER. I don't know why she made it seem like I was making her do this huge thing and why she wouldn't just take me. She even told me that her parents would be home in 20 minutes if I could wait. My sister was already on her way to take me, but she was coming from Lake Point and that would take awhile as well. But like I said, Kiera finally gave me a ride because I could no longer take it.

When we got there, my father in law had a wheelchair waiting and wheeled me in. The nurse led us to the Labor and Delivery area when I told her I was 30 weeks pregnant and experiencing abdominal pain. I filled out the paperwork and was brought to a room to be taken care of.

They first had me pee in a cup, then hooked me up to this machine that was monitoring Max and was able to let us know that he was ok. By this time, my sister had gotten there but Devin was still on his way. Much to our relief, Max was doing well and his heartbeat was great. Come to find out though, the pain I was experiencing was contractions. Contractions that were coming every 3-4 mins which is why it felt so continuous to me. It was miserable. But was even worse was the other tests they did to determine why I was contracting. The nurse first shoved this unlubricated massive metal tube thing up my chacha, then gave me a catheter to get a clean urine sample. Oh my hell. It was the worst experience of my life. Hurt like a son of a bitch. I wanted to kill that lady and the other one helping her. Oh, and Devin finally got there after the first test but before the catheter.

I continued to contract after they'd left but was more distracted by the pain from the tests to care about anything else. When she finally came back, she gave me a couple shots to stop the contractions. She also tried to take my blood but because I was dehydrated my veins kept collapsing and it took 4 tries to get what she needed. The 4th vein being the one I told her to try in the first place because that is where my blood is always taken from.

After more waiting on that extremely uncomfortable bed, the nurse came back to say all the tests were negative and it was a mystery as to why I went into labor. She told me to take it easy and said the doctor wanted me on bedrest for the weekend. The contractions had stopped coming so frequently but were a little bit more intense after I was given the shots. That night was incredibly uncomfortable. My back was very sore and it hurt to sit, stand, lay down, walk to the bathroom, and even breath. Who knew contractions took so much out of you?

I feel a lot better now and I hope it doesn't happen again. It's way too early to have this little guy. He needs to stay in there for another couple months. I'm excited to see him, but I can surely wait.

Baby doctor appointment

2008-11-12T12:38:00.002-07:00

Monday was the baby appointment, but they did the glucose test and wouldn't get the results in until today so I decided to wait to see what my blood said. I passed! I am not anemic and do not have gestational diabetes. Both of which I am happy for. I've only gained 5 lbs through the whole pregnancy so far and my blood pressure and pee tests have always been great. :) I'm happy everything is going so well. I'm just afraid that since I've had such an easy pregnancy so far (didn't even have vomiting morning sickness) that labor is going to suck like no other. :S My grandma said to think positively, but this is really starting to worry me.

Oh yeah, I now get to go into the doctor's every 2 weeks! This is very exciting to me because it's getting closer. 30 weeks and one day. :D crazy. After the next 3 appointments of going every 2 weeks, I'll be going in every week until he comes out. So exciting! I hope he comes like right on his due date, not early, not late. I need to make it at work until Jan. 15th and I want to be fully recovered by March 1st in case I need to go back to work. We'll see how well behaved and how much he listens to me telling him to wait until mommy takes her leave on Jan. 15th.

I may have to go back to work :( which sucks because my baby will be just little, but I want to just work long enough to pay off my car and scooters so I can stay home when he's a little older and not be real tight on money. My sister will be able to baby sit while devin and I are both at work. She'll work part time at night and I'll pay her during the day to watch Max. I hope it all plays out the way we need it to because I don't want to miss anything in my childs life.

My stupid POS car

2008-11-11T17:53:00.002-07:00

So........... I hate my car. We are going to buy a new one but don't want to have all this negative equity by adding the loan from my current car to the new car loan, so we decided to pay the repairs and get it running. We put 250 in fuel injectors because those were bad, and devin replaced them himself. But since it still wasn't running we had to take it to the shop and get it diagnosed. The price to repair the damn thing is $942.76 which sucks ass. So in the past month, we've put 1200 bucks in repairs on that damn thing. Seeing how we still owe 3 grand, I don't know if it was worth it or not. What price do you stop at for repairs in a car? When does it become to much to repair and you decide to just get a new one? Another 300 and it would've paid off half that loan.. but would a dealer give me the rest of the 1500 as a trade in on a car that won't even start? I just hate being a grown up sometimes. These repairs damn well better work and it better run great for the rest of the loan so we can use it as cash on a new car. Stupid POS.

Leaving work in the dark

2008-11-11T17:44:00.002-07:00

So I just want to tell you how much I HATE getting off work at 6pm. It is so freakin dark out there and I feel as if I may be killed walking to my truck. I've always been afraid of someone reaching from under the vehicle and pulling me down, but after that newspaper article about the lady in SLC that was pulled down and raped by a bum (in broad day light none the less!), I am REALLY freaked out at night. I walk out with my keys and light in one hand, and my knife in the other. I am ready to hit the panic button at any second I see anyone trying to kill me, and I will totally go for the throat with my knife. I want to get my concealed weapons permit, solely because I am so freaking scared walking out there alone. But I've got my knife and you can bet your ass that I will stab anyone that tries to harm my baby by harming me.

My little brother

2008-11-07T10:25:00.004-07:00

I've decided Skyler is going to be a great uncle. I was watching him with my little cousins last weekend, and he is so good with the baby. I wanted to post this picture because it is freakin adorable.

Look how cute he is watching her giggle as her older brother, Daxton, tickles her

Skyler posing with Acadia

And here he is laying out the blanket so she can play on the floor

My baby is going to be spoiled by her aunt and uncles. I hope not into a spoiled brat, but he will be the first born nephew on both sides- as well as the first grandson, and great grandson. :) We are all so excited for him to come!

Updates

2008-11-06T17:08:00.002-07:00

It's been awhile since I've posted anything. Mainly because I don't have the internet at home and I'm paranoid of getting fired if I'm not working while at work. My job is cracking down I think... But I'm incredibly bored and am counting down the minutes until I go home so I'm doing it anyway.

Maximus is kicking and rolling around all the time now. It can be very painful to tell you the truth. Plus he's making me pee more than ever before. But kicking is good so I'll deal with it for the rest of the 2 and a half months. It's awesome though when he rolls over, it feels so weird.

This weekend is the baby shower my grandmother inlaw and mother inlaw are throwing me for that side of the family. I'm pretty excited, but also nervous. I don't like being the center of attention. I don't particularly enjoy sitting in front of everyone opening presents... :S but it'll be fun... I hope.

The new girl at work annoys the hell out of me. So far she's been here not even a full 4 weeks, and has already taken 2 days off. And has left early 3 days as well. The second friday here she called in with a migrane, but the day before she left an hour early to go to dinner with this guy she likes. That pissed me off... but whatever. I'm pretty sure she just had a hangover and didn't want to come in. I hope she quits or gets fired soon. If not though, I'm quitting in a couple months so I'll deal with it until then... or at least try to.

Obama... I must say that he scares me. I am very disappointed in the American people. I didn't know so many people in the US were for socialism..

One of my best friends are getting married tomorrow and I am so excited for her! Congrats Bunny! They'll be living a lot closer to me now, so that'll be fun. Plus, she wants kids soon, so our babies will be friends. If she has a honeymoon baby then Max would only be about 7 months older than her first one. They'd be in the same grade at least, I'm thinking. :)

Well, that's all I can think of for now!

Devin's Birthday and the cake fiasco

2008-10-16T10:08:00.003-06:00

Devin spent his birthday all day at work. Now that we are grown ups it doesn't matter so much, but it sucked for me. I was excited to go to dinner with him. But since he was at work from 7am to 11pm, I didn't get to see him really at all. Plus he had to be to work this morning at 5am so when he got home he had to go to bed rather quickly so he would have enough sleep for this morning. :(

I had been looking forward to making Devin a cake so when he told me that he'd be home real late I figured I could make the cake without him being there so it'd be a surprise.. So I pull out my cake mix and the oil and go upstairs to the kitchen. I mix in all that and the water and go to the fridge for the 3 eggs it requires. When I open the fridge I see this $20 cake sitting in there that says "Happy 21st Devin!"

I was devasted. I broke down into tears and cried for about 20 mins. I was so upset because I'm his wife, of course I would have a cake for him. I wouldn't just not have a cake for my husband. I knew my $1 cake mix and $1.50 frosting wasn't going to compare to a bakery cake all decorated professionally so I just wanted to throw out my halfway mixed batter. I texted my sister because I didn't know what to do and she knew how excited I was to make a Jack Daniels cake for devin's birthday. She told me that we could just make it on Saturday morning and his parents could give him that cake since they already bought it. But by then Kiera, my sister in law, had come down and asked me if I was ok. I said yes, but turned to my mixing bowl and started to cry again. I asked her what I was suppose to do with this now since they'd already bought a cake. She said to just keep making it and grabbed the other cake out of the fridge. I don't know what she did with it but I was so discouraged that I didn't want to do anything with the batter anymore. But I was fighting with the fact that if I didn't finish the cake and that if the $20 one was thrown away or something, then devin wouldn't have any cake for his birthday. So I forced myself to finish and went downstairs to my room while it baked.

After it was done I set it out to cool and went to Smith's to pick up the things I was planning on in the first place. Food coloring and those tips to decorate with. I was still sad so I took my time so the cake would be completely cool. I knew his mom and dad would be home soon and that kiera probably told them what happened so I just wanted to curl up in my bed and go to sleep and not see anyone. But I wanted devin to have a cake. So I put up with the "helpful" suggestions when they did finally get home while I was decorating the cake. This is what it turned out like-

I'm kinda proud of it. I wanted to make it in the shape of the bottle but I didn't like the eyes watching me, so I resorted to just drawing on it with the cake things. Maybe next year we will have our own place again and I won't have to feel so pressured or upset that my inlaws think I wouldn't have a cake for my husband. :(

Quilt sets and decisions

2008-10-10T16:57:00.005-06:00

I found that same blue safari theme quilt set online at ksl.com for 75 bucks. The person selling it says it's new and never been used. So if it is still there when Devin gets paid on the 17th, I'm totally going to buy it! I hope it is. If not though, I'll just make it like I planned.

So I decided picking out a mattress and car seat is really stressful to me. A guy at my work that used to sell baby stuff says that a car seat is like a helmet for the baby's body and got me all worried about trying to find the perfect one. :S I want to make sure I buy the best I can and because I put them on my registry, I hope no one thinks I'm trying to get super expensive things out of them. I just figure, if I don't get them as gifts then I'll buy them ourselves anyway, so we will just have to see.

This is the crib we want-

So it'll look damn good with the blue safari set I want. Other than the specific crib, car seat, and mattress, I'm not too picky about everything else. I'm so excited! I hope these things are on sale the day after Thanksgiving because that's when we plan to buy the big stuff at once. We'll have at least a grand saved for these things by then, I just hope they are really good prices so we can buy a bunch of other little things we'll need. Plus, it'll be after my first baby shower that my grandmother in-law is throwing, so who knows? Maybe I won't have to pay for every single big thing then... we'll just have to wait and see! :D

Last weekend

2008-10-08T09:50:00.002-06:00

Last weekend was a really fun weekend. Cristyle came over and we watched House episodes for a few hours after driving around trying to figure out what we wanted to eat for dinner. Devin had to go to sleep so that he could get up and work some overtime on Saturday, so he didn't get to play with us.

Saturday I spent the morning and afternoon cleaning and doing laundry while Devin was at work. When he got home, we ate dinner than went down to Orem to play poker with Cristyle and her friends, Mandy and Dave. Cris made drinks (I had virgin drinks of course) and we brought a big bag of M&M's to share. Dave taught us how to gamble and the official rules of Black Jack and Texas Hold 'em. I can play Texas quite well, but suck at Black Jack. Devin was cracking us up because he kept losing his money and I would have to sneak him chips out of the extra ones we weren't using. Dave was calling him ATM by the end. It was a lot of fun.

Sunday Devin had a hangover but I made him move boxes for me so we were finally unpacked and all moved in. Only thing left to do is the mounds of laundry. Ugh. I hate laundry. After moving the boxes, we watched Iron Man and episodes of House. It was a great weekend and I just wanted to share it with you :)

Baby update

2008-10-07T16:32:00.002-06:00

So yesterday was the baby appointment. All is well! The slight pains or soreness I've been experience is completely normal the doc says. We didn't get to see Max this time, but maybe next time we'll get another ultrasound. They gave me this red bottle to drink the morning of the next appointment. They have to draw my blood and check for something an hour after I drink it. I think like diabetes or something. I'm not entirely certain. That's about it to report there though. :)

A few more days

2008-10-03T16:20:00.002-06:00

Monday we get to go back to the baby doctor. I am very excited! I love going to the doctor and seeing my beautiful baby. He moves so much as if to tell me that he is still there and not to forget. I also want to ask the doctor what this pain that I keep experiencing in my pelvic region is. I'm pretty sure it's Braxton Hicks, but I dunno. I'm never sure what each appointment will be like and what will be done at each, but I think there is something called a glucose check that will be coming up. I've heard grave things about it... that it is a gross tasting drink you have to choke down... I am not looking forward to that at all.

Maximus Edward-Allen Lampert. Isn't that just a great sounding name? Oh but we may be changing our last name to Scott though. Scott is the original last name in Devin's family, but Devin's dad was adopted by his step dad into the Lampert family. All of Devin's uncles are Scott's and so are his grandparents. I personally have never been fond of the last name "Lampert". Especially since his mom's name is MeLissa Lampert... so for me to go by Mellisa Lampert... I've never liked it. Which I think is the reason I've never made the effort to change my last name legally from Garrard. And now since we live in Herriman with them, mine and his mom's mail always gets mixed up because most people spell my name Melissa and her name Melissa. So.... I like Scott better. :) Maximus Edward-Allen Scott.

Devin's Birthday

2008-10-02T12:24:00.002-06:00

Devin's birthday is in less than two weeks. 13 days in fact. I am very excited for him! I have plans that I want to share but they are secret plans that I don't want him to find out... and I don't want to risk him seeing them on here. So I guess I will have to wait until after the 18th (3 days after his birthday) to post about it. :( It will be super fun though! :D

This was a pointless blog, but oh well! I am bored again, had to type something.

Running out of time

2008-10-01T15:30:00.004-06:00

Yep. I officially feel like I'm running out of time before Max comes. I have SOOO much to do in SOOO little time. I want to make a few quilts so that he has a complete crib set and everything matching. I thought about buying them but personally I want to be able to tell him that I made them for him. I'm just running out of time!!!

These are a few ideas I'm thinking to base the set off of:

I think it'll be most blue and not so much green because green is not that pretty... plus blue goes with almost everything! We're buying a dark crib like the middle picture and I think blue might match better than green. The quilt will be pretty easy to make (yes, I know how to quilt) and the bumper railing thing that goes around it will be easy. Actually, it should all be easy! I took a quilt making class that taught me how to come up with the correct measurements without having a pattern so it shouldn't be hard... just finding the time to do it will be. :S

Few more halloween pics

2008-09-29T11:38:00.007-06:00

Heres a few more pictures from that night since I don't know how to add a slideshow. :D

Great day

2008-09-29T10:30:00.006-06:00

Yesterday, my sister and I went out to my grandparents ward to see my little cousin sing his solo in church. It was so cute! I couldn't believe how well he did! He hit every note, in tune on time. It was incredible. And absolutely adorable might I mention. He is only 5 but has an amazing gift for music. Cristyle and I sat in the back and I watched as he finished, everyone turn to the person next to them in aww at how amazing he was.

After church we went over to my grandparents for dinner and saw my little brother. My aunt and uncle and their kids came over so it was good seeing them some more as well. Max was kicking away and everyone saw my phone jumping around while I had it resting on my tummy. He wouldn't kick when Skyler tried to feel but at least he kicked when they were looking at the phone.

We then traveled up to Tooele and saw my other brother, Andrew. We went to Crown Burger for dinner (another dinner, yes) and Cold Stone for dessert. Cristyle got cake batter and cookie dough. It was wonderful. I got a dark chocolate one with raspberry and white choco chips. We also sampled a ton of ice creams. Cotton candy, DELICIOUS. Pumpkin- NASTY.

After we dropped off Andrew, we went to Walgreens to print off pics off our digital cameras. As we waited for them we found these bad ass masks. Lol, it was fun messing around with them. We kept laughing way hard because they kinda scared both of us if you looked into the eyes long enough. Haha, it was great.

After driving to Herriman, Cris wanted to watch a scary movie. So we played around with the masks, taking more pics with her camera while Devin set up the DVD player. We watched 28 Days Later, which was successfully creepy. Poor Cristyle had to drive home alone. But all together, it was a great day. I freakin love my sister.

Storytime

2008-09-25T09:41:00.004-06:00

So I decided that I have tons of stories to tell that I've never actually blogged about. Some people already know a few of them, but I have a ton that I could write down. Like the incident at my mom's wedding reception.. the rat in my car.. the puke in my car.. And these were things only in the last month (except the rat one). I've decided I will type one up everytime I'm bored or just would rather blog :)

THE RAT IN MY CAR
So way back in February I decided to buy Devin a rat for his Valentine's Day gift because he used to talk about how much he loved his pet rat when he was younger. I found one on craigslist for like 2 bucks and a cheap cage and the amenities it would need. I picked out the cutest white female baby rat out of the bunch and it was absolutely adorable. I brought it home to Devin in the little box the guy gave me and gave it to him. We both loved the baby rat but it only lived about 2 days, which is always my luck when I love a pet.

About 3 months later I was again looking on craigslist and came across another ad for a pet rat. I decided, what the hell. I bought two this time, better odds of survival I figured. The thing is, rats kinda scare me (even though these were babies too) and the person didn't give me a box to keep them in on the drive home. So I get in my car holding the two little guys in my hands and am wondering how I'm going to drive home with them trying to escape. I sit there a moment and look around... The glove box! At the time this sounded like the perfect place to stash them until I got home. But within two seconds of throwing them in there did I realize there was a hole they could crawl through and go inside the dash. I was able to grab one before it too went back there and this time tossed him in the center console. The other guy was completely out of my reach and I could not get him out.

I immediately drove over to Devin's work and he came out when I told him I was there and what had happen. He of course thought it was funny and had to make fun of me. But really, it did not occur to me that they could get out if I put them in there. Devin took apart the dash but couldn't see him. He had to get back to work and told me he would try when he got home that night. The whole drive home I was freaking out, worrying that the rat was going to jump out of somewhere and attack me... drop down on my feet or something. I could hear him walking around in there and I was afraid he was going to chew apart my wires.

When I got to Sandy, I found an empty parking lot and proceeded to do donuts hoping it would fling him to the side with the glove box and I could some how grab him and get him out of there. Nope, didn't work. When Devin got home, he couldn't get him out either. So for the next month we drove around with a rat in my car. I could hear him running around once in awhile and it would freak me out. We left the windows down in hopes that he would run for it. We bought humane traps to catch him so we didn't get blood all over my car by smashing him with a rat trap. Even one time I opened the glove box just to see if he was in there, but was too afraid to grab him before he ran back into the inside. Little bastard.

I don't know what ever happened to him. The noises have stopped so maybe he found his way out.. I just hope he is out for good and we won't come across this ginormous overgrown rat monster sitting in my car one day. Now that would be scary.

Money Equals Power...?

2008-09-24T15:29:00.004-06:00

Bored again. I'm tired of this day. It started out bad because the first call I had was for a customer that wanted his windshield replaced because he didn't like the way the repair looked on his 180,000 dollar car. But we do not authorize replacements unless the technician says that the repair is unrepairable. I have been dealing with this ass all day. Hell, almost all of the luxury vehicle owners are like this. If their Mercedes gets a chip in the windshield the size of pen head then they whine if we don't replace it. But some how, miraculously, if we send a technician to look at the repaired damage they get the guy to tell us that it would need to be replaced after all. I dunno.... sounds suspicious to me. I wonder what they offer the technician to tell us it needs to be replaced... money? Probably. People who pay that much for a car can probably throw a few bucks under the table to a technician making minimum wage to tell us it needs to be replaced. Money obviously equals power and it sucks.

Tattoos

2008-09-24T12:13:00.007-06:00

So I totally want one. Yes, a tat. Anyone that knows me knows that I am deathly afraid of needles but hell, I really want one. Maybe it partially has to do with the fact that all my family close to me has one. My brother has a bad ass cross on his back, my hubby has a bad ass one on his left arm, my sister has a bad ass Cheyenne Star right above her right ankle, and my mom has the Cheyenne Star on her leg as well. I plan on getting the Cheyenne Star on my left hand about 1/2 inch below the pointer finger and the thumb. It'll be kinda small so that if I need to cover it then I'll be able to.

This is what the star looks like-

I'm going to get a larger tattoo somewhere else, I just haven't figured out where or what. I'm thinking two feathers wrapped at the ends with leather and a strand coming down from it on my back. Not sure yet though. We'll see how the star goes on my hand first. Actually if it was on my right hand in the same spot that would be bad ass! Ok, totally, that's what I'll do.

Of course this won't be until after the baby is born. I'm going to ask my doctor if it's ok to get a tattoo while breastfeeding, I'm assuming not but won't hurt to ask. But if that's the case then I'm looking at a years wait.

Stronger kicks!

2008-09-22T13:08:00.002-06:00

I must say, feeling this baby kick is AMAZING! I love it. Although I've found out what it means to have to pee every 20 minutes, but yet I love that too! These things comfort me because it lets me know he is there.

Last night Devin was able to feel him kicking on the outside of my tummy now! He was so excited! I wish I had a camera to take a picture of the look of excitement he gave me when he first felt the kick. He is going to be a great dad. Every time the baby kicked, his eyes would get wide and his smile wider as he looked over at me. He is so excited too.

Devin just dropped off some lunch to me at work on his lunch break. He asked if Max was awake, but I had to tell him no. Devin says "He's asleep? I'll wake him up." And proceeds to gently shake my belly. Haha, it was funny and cute because I know it's because he wants to feel him kick again.

I look VERY pregnant now. This baby bump is very noticeable and makes me feel huge :) but at least that means he's growing! We go to the doctor again in 2 weeks and I think we'll get more pictures of him. I can't wait! I love counting down the days to see him again. I even love counting the days to see him when he is big enough to come out. :) January 20th, 2009- only 17 weeks and one day to go! By the time we go to the doctor it'll be 15 weeks and one day to go! :) That's only roughly 3 and a half months. :D

Jumping baby

2008-09-16T17:09:00.002-06:00

Yep! I can finally feel Max moving! It's so weird... I'm pretty sure it's him but I've never felt a baby move in my tummy so I'm not certain. Actually I am certain. He moves a lot after lunch and well into the night. It feels like when your eye twitches but on your tummy. It's freakin awesome. Right now he is moving down low right now. I think he's learned to sit on my bladder more or something because lately I have to pee a ton more than I used to. :) I love it.

Chuck Baldwin for President!

2008-09-16T16:56:00.003-06:00

Most people don't realize that there are more than 2 candidates for President. If anyone would like to learn about Chuck Baldwin then you are more than welcome to come to a meeting at my sisters house. I can give you the address and time and date if you would like to come. Just text/call/email me!

Chuck Baldwin for President!

Maximus update

2008-09-04T11:33:00.002-06:00

Today we went to the doctor and got to see our beautiful baby boy again. He is so cute, I just love him so much. :D The little guy of course was laying on his tummy and being difficult for the pictures, plus he is currently breech. We didn't get great profile pics like before because of the awkward position, BUT we were able to see all his working parts and everything was accounted for! Wahoo! The ultrasound lady even said we had a text book ultrasound because it went so well. I think she even was tearing (I sure was) and she kept saying "awwwh! he's so cute you guys!" We even got to see him yawn, stretch out his little body, and suck on his thumb! Awww, he is freakin adorable :)

This was a very relieving day because I was so worried about not feeling him move yet. Everyone would ask me if I've felt him yet and every time I said no they looked concerned. This stressed me out so much. But seeing him wiggle on the ultrasound and hearing that strong 147 heartbeat brought so much relief that I cried. My doctor said that the reason I haven't felt him is because of his breech position and when he turns around I will be able to feel him just fine. :) That makes me so happy!!!

Maximus is currently 15 ounces (just under a pound!) and the length of a soda can. Not as thick as a soda can, but more like the thickness of a banana. He's a perfect size for his 20 weeks and 3 days. :) Plus he's not club foot and doesn't have a cleft lip either. He has a beautiful spine and adorable little feet with all 10 of his toes. I'm so excited to see him in another 20 weeks!

The New Plan

2008-08-25T12:42:00.002-06:00

We decided that we will move into Devin's parents basement for the next little while. So that we can pay off the loan for the scooters, car, and truck before the baby comes. As well as the other minor things that we owe on credit cards. That way we have no debt in January. And then saving everything else to put down on our new house.

We found a few condos and town homes in Saratoga Springs that we will likely buy within a year. They are brand new ones that are really nice and would be great for our first home investment. Our budget would allow us to buy a $150,000- $200,000 home. So even a smaller home in Saratoga Springs would be nice. :D We will have to see when the time comes I guess. I can't wait to start officially looking at houses!

But for now, we will make do at Devin's parents huge beautiful house in Herriman. Actually, I'm pretty excited for it.. we're going to buy lots of things to make it more homely versus the teenage man style it is now. Plus we'll have our own living room for the big screen and our couch. So it'll be great until we buy our own place. Besides, that room is big enough that it has two separate areas in it, so the smaller part of the room we will use for the baby stuff. Yay! Baby decorating!

It's a....

2008-08-04T12:42:00.003-06:00

BOY!

It took quite awhile to figure out what he was. Everytime we got a shot of between his legs, either the umbilical cord got in the way or he'd cross his legs! I told the doctor he's just a little shy, that's all.

Devin and I am super excited! We plan to buy either a pack of diapers or thing of wipes plus a little baby outfit everytime we go shopping for our food. That way we have quite the stock of diapers, wipes, and clothes! Maybe buy like diapers, wipes, diapers, clothes, diapers, wipes, diapers, clothes, etc. That way we have tons of diapers.

Oh and I almost forgot! His name will be Maximus Edward-Allen Lampert. :D

Found THE Quilt

2008-08-01T17:57:00.006-06:00

I found the quilt that I am going to make my baby! Check out how cute!

Who knew?

2008-08-01T15:19:00.003-06:00

I love working 2 jobs. I hate that it means less time with Devin, but I love being so busy. That is why I hate being so tired after work now. I never realized being pregnant was so exhausting. I'm not nearly as tired I was in the first trimester, but I still have no energy after work. Plus I don't think it helps that I don't drink caffeine anymore. Hell, I realize now that I lived off of it. A few cups of coffee in the morning, energy drink at lunch time, Mt Dew for the last part of work, and more caffeinated drinks for dinner. Oh man I miss my coffee. It got me threw work easier. I must admit tho.. I've had two cups since I found out I was pregnant on May 18th. I love it.

But honestly, when I get home from work I am so lazy.. Lately I've been reading the last Harry Potter book that came out. I'm only about half way so it's pretty exciting right now and I'm actually looking forward to reading more tonight. Meanwhile, my wonderful husband cooks dinner and does the dishes. Even brings me the food and takes my empty plate when I'm done. Like I said, I am so lazy. I have become a lazy bum.

One more day.... ish

2008-07-31T17:23:00.001-06:00

Guess what! All I have to do is make it thru tomorrow and then it's the weekend (which always flys by) and then it's monday! And we all know what's on MONDAY! Woo! Yay for babies!

This means that tomorrow may even pass slower for me than usual. Which means I may be making another post... or a few more. Unless of course I can't think of anything to type. Which has happened now. I still have 33 mins of work left in this day which is forever so I decided to get back on here again.. Needless to say, I have not thought of anything really to type about.. So I will just go on and on about not having anything to type. :)

Well, guess I'm off to read Jackie and Melissie's blog now. Hopefully they've put up some new posts! Long ones that will take a half an hour to read. :P

Blog for Cherstan

2008-07-31T17:16:00.001-06:00

My bestfriend and favorite cousin is going China for a few months. This makes me a little sad because I will miss her, but this is a GREAT opportunity. One I wish I'd have taken way back when. She's going to China to teach little kids how to read and speak English. Luckily she'll be bringing back presents! :D Even one for the new comer in January!

I just want to say Cherstan, I love you and you will be missed but have fun babe! Take loads of pictures and make sure and give us a call or email to everyone back home! Couldn't convince you not to go... but that's ok. I'll live :) . Love you!

P.S. You should get a blog to keep us updated!

Counting down the days!

2008-07-29T09:54:00.000-06:00

Guess what! Less than 6 days we will know the sex of our little one! I am so excited! This week is already dragging. Like today, been here less than an hour, and it feels like I've been here many hours. I can't stop thinking about it because I am so excited! This baby has already consumed my life. All I talk about is the baby because that is all I think about. I can't even remember what I talked about before I became pregnant... which don't get me wrong, I am completely ok with. :) I am just so excited! He or she is just going to be freakin adorable! I can't wait to hold him/her.

Personally, I think it's a boy :P and I'm just putting that out there before we find out. We will see if I have any mothers intuition. He's gonna be a stud. And best buddy's with Jaxon. Oh, and also Lindsay's baby to come. He (or she) is going to have tons of friends! Even a little cousin (but not really a cousin cousin... like a second cousin or something..) because my aunt is having a baby in February! Wahoo!

Apparently I am what they call, nesting. I made a list of things we need/want to do before the baby comes. It consisted of over 45 things to get done. Ranging from stock up on diapers to fix the chip in the truck's ws to decorate the baby room... All sorts of stuff that I am super excited to start doing. Some of the things we have to wait to do until we move or until we know the sex (such as buy tons of adorable clothes and make tons of adorable quilts!). :D so excited!

Bored at work again

2008-07-23T15:10:00.000-06:00

Yep, bored out of my mind again. Believe me, I love my job and all.... most of the time ;) ... but sometimes I just get so bored. I did all my extra jobs, but since the phone has been so slow I really don't have much to do now.

It's getting harder and harder to focus at work. The excitement and anticipation for the baby is just so overwhelming! I would love to be home preparing- sewing quilts and blankets, decorating the baby room, buying all the baby stuff we need... just doing things so I feel like I'm actually going to be prepared for the baby. But for now we need the money. I have to keep reminding myself to stick it out at least a few more months so we have plenty of money down for the house we are going to buy in March. :) That helps to think about. We'll finally have a place that we can paint the walls whatever color we want! Remodel and fix up whatever we want! Have a yard to play in! Oh man, I am so excited!

But for now, I will be at my desk Monday thru Friday 9am to 6pm. And doing things on the weekend, well as much as I can. My weekends are usually full of the things we couldn't/didn't get done during the week because we just don't feel like working more after work. Lazy I guess :P

And the two bedroom we're looking to move to will do for now. I actually loved the apartment when we went on the tour a couple weeks back. It is very big and actually reminds me of more of a house layout. But alas, more waiting! Our lease at our current residence doesn't end til Sept 1st so we won't be moving in until Aug 30th. Another month... so what to do in the meantime?

A happy surprise!

2008-07-16T12:30:00.000-06:00

SO... Devin and I have been married almost 7 amazing months. He is my soulmate and I love him more and more each day. I know that sometimes I take him for granted, which I hate and am working on, but I love him so much. That is why I am thrilled to announce that we have a little one joining the family in January, 2009! I love that we get to share this adventure together! We already have a boy name and a girl name picked out for our baby. But I am not going to share them until August 4th when we get to find out the sex of the baby. I am so excited!

Currently we have a bit more debt than we'd like, but we also are working on it fast. By the time the baby comes we will have all debt paid off except our car and truck. We were planning to buy a house in September of this year, but have decided to rent just 6 more months so that we can save a bit more money to put down for a larger home. We have a 1 bedroom apartment right now, but the lease is up September 1st, when we will be moving to a much larger 2 bedroom 2 bathroom apartment. I am so excited to decorate the baby room! By then we will know whether we are having a boy or a girl and how to best decorate for him/her. I am so excited!!!

Workplace Vents

2008-07-16T12:22:00.000-06:00

Have you ever worked in an office? I strongly suggest you don't because you can never fully know what you are getting yourself into. There is so much drama and irritating coworkers that it becomes unbearable at times. Especially when that coworker that is so irritating knows nothing about doing her job and purposely puts off taking calls because she is lazy. But yet of course, this coworker that I am referring to is so rude on the phone to customers that I don't even like her to take calls anyway! So either way I lose this battle... I take a bazillion and we have satisfied customers.. or I tell her to take a few and we have very angry and unsatisfied customers. Like I said, lose lose either way.